Holidays --when people come together to celebrate joy and loss.

Today, as I clutched my purse and jogged across my church parking lot from my mother to my car, I saw my reflection in my window. And I looked completely different. I saw that reflection and I saw someone else. Literally. With my straight hair, no makeup, big sunglasses, and laughing grin, I was reminded of images of Fey Summers from Ugly Betty.
Since then I've been looking in the mirror a lot.
I'm not saying that I didn't like what I've seen before, but this image was so different. And so happy. And so what I wish my life could be right now --the constant party G is always talking about, not watching my dead neighbor get taken away to the funeral home before I even knew he was dead. And not being so paranoid about noises in my house that I twist into sounds of a person falling. And not wondering if my father is going to be alive to come to my graduation or not.
Because high school sucks. And I wish it didn't.
Thanksgiving freshman year. Three years ago. My father's first stroke. Who would have guessed that my first marking period of high school would be the only stable one of four years.
The doctors certainly didn't. And neither did I.
Today at the end of church I was standing at the door and shaking people's hands. A guy who used to work with my dad asked me how he was. "I wish he would get better. It's been what, three years he's been fighting it now?" Which was really weird because in the middle of the sermon I realized that.
Three years.
At Thanksgiving.
Be thankful that your father is fine now because at Christmas he'll be mute and paralyzed in the ICU! That's a real slap in the face.
But at least it came at a holiday, when my family was all gathered at home. Gathered to celebrate the bonds that tie us together. Gathered to have those very bonds stretched and tested and stressed. Gathered to have our plans smashed and pieced back together.
Kindof like my life in general.


When I was younger I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
No one could hold me down
No one could keep me around
Now it's your turn, take a shot
Baby show me everything that you got
Maybe you can keep me alive
Maybe you can get in my mind
But it's only a matter of time

Before I run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday

My father, he was always wise
As wise as an elephant's eyes
He couldn't hold me down
He couldn't keep me around
So are you gonna take your shot?
It's the only one that you got
Maybe I'll go out on a limb
Maybe I'll jump in for a swim
When the lights go dim

You know I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday
(Need to take a holiday)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday

When I was younger I used to be wild
As wild as an elephant's child
And I don't think I'll ever change
I think I'm gonna stay the same

I'll run far away
I need to take a holiday (need to take a holiday)
Maybe it's a fall from grace
I gotta find a new place
A holiday
I'll set off on a new chase (set off on a new chase)
I gotta see a new face
I need to take a holiday

A new start
I've broken too many hearts
And I don't have any clue where to go
I don't know
But maybe I'll be back someday after my holiday

All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight

--Holiday, Boys Like Girls

Should I get up and carry on?

Hard days made me, hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they called nothing
I take what I want
Take what I need
They say it's wrong but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me

And if I make it through today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
and if I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care

And no one in this industry
Understands the life I lead
When I sing about my past
It's not a gimmick, not an act
These critics and these trust fund kids
Try to tell me what punk is
But when I see them on the streets, they got nothing to say....

And if I make it through today will tomorrow be the same
Am I just running in place?
If I stumble and I fall
Should I get up and carry on or will it all just be the same

'Cause, I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care, now I don't care

I'm young and hopeless
I'm lost and I know this
I'm going nowhere fast that's what they say
That I'm troublesome, I've fallen
I'm angry at my father
It's me against this world and I don't care, I don't care
I don't care
I don't care

--The Young & The Hopeless, Good Charlotte

This is so me it's pathetic.

Main Entry: teacher's pet

Function: noun

Date: 1914

1 : a pupil who has won the teacher's special favor
2 : a person who is treated as a favorite by one in authority



I am defined in the dictionary.
Pathetic.
And while we're talking about definitions.....

This is why I bleed silver and black.

This is a letter to the editor from The Leader and State Register.

"Graduate questions education quality

As a third-generation graduate of Seaford High School I would proudly say that my "blood runs blue and gold." My brother used this statement once when attempting to convince me that I should attend Seaford High School rather than Sussex Technical High School. I'm not sure whether Sussex Tech would have been a better fit for me, but I feel it may have offered more than Seaford. My quarrel is not that Sussex Tech exceeds Seaford on its Delaware State Testing scores, but I question the quality of my education in the Seaford School District itself.

After graduating last year I chose to attend a prestigious liberal arts college in Pennsylvania that I am sure that the majority of readers have never heard of. Entering the ranks at college last August it didn't take long before I realized that my peers were a great deal more prepared that I for their first year at college.

Given that Seaford is a small town in Delaware I reassured myself that I simply needed time to adjust to this new lifestyle.

But, after a few weeks, I realized that the gap wasn't an adjustment issue, but how well my high school prepared me for college courses. My friends seemed to know more than I on a wide range of issues from math to music. I soon discovered that I was not necessarily the one to blame for my shortcomings, but my precollege education was lacking. Compared to my peers at college I was at a great disadvantage. My friends seemed well-rounded, able to discuss any topic in depth in an instant. I, on the other hand, usually stayed silent during their discussions so that I wouldn't say something incorrect. The blank stare they gave me the first time I attempted to join them was enough to set me away from talking again.

Since most of my memories of my education are of my time at the high school it receives all of my criticism. Before I begin the critique of my high school experience I believe it would be best if I described myself.

I was in the top 10th percent of my graduating class. My senior year I took five Advanced Placement (AP) classes including some of the most challenging courses available. And I was bored. The number of classes that sparked my interest were quite low. I had taken most of the AP/ Honors classes offered my senior year and I disliked the idea of taking any college prep courses because they always seemed, at least to me, off-task and unruly. It was a relief my senior year when I did not have to fill up my entire class schedule of eight periods because it seemed as if the only courses that I hadn't taken were computer classes that didn't interest me. Even most of the honors classes didn't challenge me. With the exception of the science department, I found it easy to pass with an "A" in most of my AP/ Honors classes. If you had asked my fellow students they would have given you the same answer. We didn't take the AP classes for the challenging work, we took them so that it looked good on a college application, and besides the only extra work was an extra paper or two. I actually enjoyed the AP class topics more than the other options. Classes like Comparative Politics, Calculus, and American Government seemed more interesting than Civics or General Math.

I have to say that one of my largest complaints about the Seaford school system is that the students are not challenged enough or are allowed to be lazy with their work. Going through the system myself I saw that the students weren't motivated to do well on their work. From my perspective it seems as though students are taught to settle. There is a big world out there and the majority of our high school graduates stay in Seaford. While this isn't a bad thing I believe it would be better if the system encouraged students to attend college and receive a degree. I've heard, through rumors, that some of the Administration wonders why the top percentages of its graduates leave Delaware to go to college. To put it simply they will go anywhere that is away from Seaford; they don't want to be stuck in the town that held them down for so long. Seaford doesn't encourage the bright students; instead it threatens to take away programs like Academic Challenge that prepares students college experience at the community college. Many of my friends were part of this program and they were better prepared for the rigorous coursework of college.

While these are not my only complaints, these are my biggest concerns. Especially since several of the more incredible teachers retired at the end of the 2006-07 school year. I happen to have had three of these teachers and they are the most influential and hardworking teachers I ever had while I was in the high school. I hope they enjoy their retirement --they earned it. These are not the only great teachers within the school system that I admire, but I want them to realize how important they have been through my education. Without them I would have been completely lost in college.

Mary Massey
Seaford"



Now more than ever I'm grateful that my parents refused to let me complete my education in the Seaford School District. Starting in sixth grade, I attended a county-wide charter school in Georgetown. At first I didn't like the idea --we had to wear uniforms, and I wanted to be like my two sisters and be valedictorian at Seaford High School. It's not that my friends weren't going to the charter school, of the sixty incoming eighth graders a lot were from Seaford. If seemed like my Seaford friends were either going to the charter school or a different charter school in Laurel. That school was a breath of fresh air. Yes, you have your preps, your jocks, your jokers, your losers, and your teachers pets (I was the latter two), but you didn't have the fighters. The people who hated the school and just came to get drugs and were in and out of the School Resource Officer's office for fighting. In fact, my middle school didn't have an SRO. In a school of under four hundred, you were sent to the principal for getting out of hand.

The school gave me some amazing opportunities. During my three years at the school, I participated in Odyssey of the Mind. My oldest sister competed in OotM at Seaford Middle, but they never got a coach and the program seemed to die out in a few years, sputtering back every once in a while. My second year my team advanced to World Competition. Worlds. Every year the program grew, along with the success of its teams. The only thing I had some trouble getting into was Academic Challenge. Fortunately, that issue was quickly sorted out by my furious mother and I've been in their English program for the past four years.

But by far the best thing this school gave me was an alternative to Seaford High School. My parents still refused to let me graduate from Seaford High, and put in an application at Sussex Technical High School, also in Georgetown. Mostly due to the middle school I was coming from I was accepted. Since then, I think I've gotten the best high school education possible in Slower Lower Delaware (that's Sussex County. In fact, the daughter of the man who coined that phrase is in my technical class).

Tech has been rated as nearly everything. A Superior School since 2004, a National Pacesetter School, a Blue Ribbon School by the Department of Education; you name it, Tech's gotten it. In addition to that, we have phenomenal teachers. I'm not saying that I've always appreciated some of these teachers, but the truth of the matter is that they're a cut above the other teachers I've been taught by. Young and old, these teachers have had amazing experiences in the real world of their field that they are able to bring into the classroom.

The classes themselves are something else. When I was a freshman, there were no Advanced Placement or Honors classes. Everything was already a higher level class than what was being taught in most of our home districts. Unlike many schools, there are no study halls. Ever. Academic Challenge students normally end up with two or three study halls in their schedules because of the English and math classes they take at Del Tech, but at Sussex Tech you fill your schedule. Every year. Yes, even your senior year. This year, the only half a credit I needed to graduate (other than my English credit I was earning through Academic Challenge) was for a semester of physical education. It may seem rough, but there are so many classes at Tech for anyone. I was able to double major in my technical areas thanks to my free time and it wasn't much harder than having just one. In fact, it took stress off of me. Starting in ninth grade, we feel pressure to choose the right area. The area you want to pursue for your entire high school career and then your life. The opportunity to take two made my life so much easier and so much more enjoyable. It also has made my senior year a little annoying --filling half of my schedule with technical classes, I didn't have time to take many of the related technical classes that I was interested in. Instead of having a school that didn't offer enough classes for me, I didn't have enough room for all of them!

Many of my friends at Tech work at this advanced level for two or three years then decide to transfer back to their home school. This I just can't understand. If you've put so much extra work in at Tech, why settle for a diploma from any other school simply because some of the people there you've known for your entire life? People from that school should be trying to transfer into Tech to get a diploma! Think of it this way --why would you go to Yale, then transfer to Del Tech during your senior year? Not that I'm trying to bust on Del Tech, or any of the local school districts, but this really doesn't make any sense to me.

But maybe it's just me. I've gotten the bug. I've been infected with Raven Pride and now, partway through my senior year, I'm sure that I bleed silver and black. I've given everything to this school. Today during the eighth grade open house, my yearbook teacher made fun of me for washing the tables after lunch and asked "Is there anything you wouldn't do for this school?" The fact that cleanup was a part of working in the kitchen for the day didn't seem to phase him. But since I've been cleaning tables I've come to the realization that there isn't anything I wouldn't do for my school. It has given me so many opportunities it seems wrong to not give back as much as I possibly can before I graduate and leave it behind.

Joy Stephenson
Seaford