Damn it, I'm stuck.

"I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need"
--In the Sun, Joseph Arthur

This is where I am right now.

I've always planned to do this. To form an OM team in college, go to Worlds and get my medal. Yesterday Tommy asked me about it and it's been eating at me since. It's something I had thought about before, but it won't go away. Do I really want to go through all the work of forming a team, building a semi-decent army and marching to Iowa in the hope of domination? Or do I just want to usurp my way into being a Delaware judge at Worlds? Either way, if the second were to work, I'd get the opportunity to work at Worlds. The first way might get me the medal I've been craving since middle school.

I have no idea if I even want that now. Granted, I want the medal. But I don't know if I want all the work for a medal right now. I have no idea who I could pull together to form a team with, and I have no idea if we would even make it to the top three. Is the view worth the climb?

So many questions. Maybe this is why Ron Raab-Long is taking so long to email me the information. Because I have no idea if I even want to do this.

When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong.

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
He's underneath the window, she's singing
"Hey, la, my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here, singing up people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded in my heart
And I forget, I forget.. the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah
Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him"

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, I love you till I die"
And there's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a Rhyme
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, I'll love you till I die"
There's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

A lovestruck Romeo, he sings the streets of serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Find a convenient streetlight, steps out of the shade
He says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

--Romeo & Juliet, The Killers

I can count this high.

1 2, 1 2 3 4-
Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Barely gettin' mad,
I'm so glad I found you; I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only one thing to do, three words for you- I love you
There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do-
I love you.

Give me more lovin' from the very start,
Piece me back together when I fall apart,
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends-
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, best that I've had,
I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only one thing to do, three words for you- I love you
There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do-
I love you.

You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only one thing to do, three words for you- I love you
There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do-
I love you.

--1, 2, 3, 4, Plain White T's