The worst part is watching everyone leave.
Now that all of my closest friends from this summer are settled into their respective colleges, I'm making new friends. Old acquaintances are becoming friends. Which is cool, yeah. Getting to know (and actually hear!) Carrie, Sarah, and Heather during lunch and our breaks is kinda nice.
But when I go to a football game, I have no one to hang with. I can't crash the band anymore because Sally is drum major and doesn't sit in one place. I can't stand around with Josh anymore because he sees so many people and spends all this time talking to them that he doesn't even notice when I walk away. I can't go sit with someone in the stands because it feels like I don't know a single person in school.
I can't call up the crew and go see a movie at Salisbury or go crash someone's house. Its... weird. I know in one of Bethany's college books it says not to just hang out with your high school friends. But at this point, that's all I've got. You don't see other people enough to get to know them at all. Instead, I'm finding a new group of Techies to hang with.
And then I have the old Techies. The current students. Matt, Tommy, and Natalie, my devoted group of lunch buddies. We've gone to the buffet once, which was insanely fun (though I felt like I was dominating conversation while talking about college), and Saturday we're getting together to play Rock Band and see a movie. I'm pretty stoked.
As much as I want to meet new people, I feel bad about it. I hope that I'll be leaving to go somewhere else in the fall, but so much of me wants to stay here. I want to stick around and be an actual advisor for CT when Mrs Pasmore has to quit because of the commute and get to know Mr Varratto's son Dylan. I want to finish my associate degree and take more classes with Mr Butterly (my savior!) and Ms Farley, who thinks I'm a terrorist. I want to figure out what happened to that freaking bird and I want to see an Odyssey program take root at the college.
All I can think of right now is that end scene from the Return of the King, where Frodo is telling Sam how he can't always be torn in two, and that he needs to be whole in order to live his life out.
Sam, make me whole.
But when I go to a football game, I have no one to hang with. I can't crash the band anymore because Sally is drum major and doesn't sit in one place. I can't stand around with Josh anymore because he sees so many people and spends all this time talking to them that he doesn't even notice when I walk away. I can't go sit with someone in the stands because it feels like I don't know a single person in school.
I can't call up the crew and go see a movie at Salisbury or go crash someone's house. Its... weird. I know in one of Bethany's college books it says not to just hang out with your high school friends. But at this point, that's all I've got. You don't see other people enough to get to know them at all. Instead, I'm finding a new group of Techies to hang with.
And then I have the old Techies. The current students. Matt, Tommy, and Natalie, my devoted group of lunch buddies. We've gone to the buffet once, which was insanely fun (though I felt like I was dominating conversation while talking about college), and Saturday we're getting together to play Rock Band and see a movie. I'm pretty stoked.
As much as I want to meet new people, I feel bad about it. I hope that I'll be leaving to go somewhere else in the fall, but so much of me wants to stay here. I want to stick around and be an actual advisor for CT when Mrs Pasmore has to quit because of the commute and get to know Mr Varratto's son Dylan. I want to finish my associate degree and take more classes with Mr Butterly (my savior!) and Ms Farley, who thinks I'm a terrorist. I want to figure out what happened to that freaking bird and I want to see an Odyssey program take root at the college.
All I can think of right now is that end scene from the Return of the King, where Frodo is telling Sam how he can't always be torn in two, and that he needs to be whole in order to live his life out.
Sam, make me whole.
posted by joy at 17.9.08
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