A mid-life revelation

I have come to the conclusion that, at one point or another, everyone realizes that they hate themselves. Be it weight, color, size, shape, sound, or style, we find something that we despise about ourselves and we latch onto it. Some realize this fact almost overnight. For some, it is a slow, gradual process over weeks, months, or even years. The reasons could be almost anything --I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, if only my abs were a little tighter, maybe if I started lifting weights my arms wouldn't be so flabby, if I ran again my legs would get stronger, if I bought that back brace it would fix my posture, if I started to eat right I'd have more energy, etc. When you show up to parties with your friends covered in scratches, bites, and scabs waiting for someone, anyone to take notice and ask you about them. When you wake up at ten or so and around four you realize "oh hey, maybe I should eat lunch," but there's absolutely nothing in your house that you'd enjoy eating. When you're riding your bike home from VBS and wonder how long it would take your parents to notice you were missing if you rode somewhere completely different. We all have our different reasons to think the way we do, but we all have one thing in common. We are unwilling to change. Absolutely unwilling to make that tiny change in routine that would help us achieve our ambitions. We will rattle off excuse after excuse after excuse before we even consider actually making that change. And why?

Because we're afraid. We're afraid of the life we have now. We're afraid of losing that life to one that would be only the slightest bit different. The slightest bit better. More healthy. More active. More whatever. More worthwhile. More fulfilling. Just... more. More that we have now. More than we think we can handle. If we were to change and make our lives into what we think our dream life is, then what do we have to strive for? What would we have to complain about? We spend so much time dreaming and fantasizing about this perfect life that we lack the time, energy, and drive to pursue it. We just like complaining too much to get what we want. "Hello, life's ambition. Could you come back tomorrow? I really don't have time for you right now. I'm busy. Yes, busy. Doing what? Well its funny you should ask that. I'm coming up with excuses, actually. Excuses to avoid coming in contact with you. Okay, really. Please leave."

Excuse me while I go watch a movie instead of going after the things I want.